I’ve been a spiritual coach for twenty years and there’s one thing I know about that — if I don’t take care of myself I am no good to anyone else.
I first learned this lesson when I became a Mom. I was working with clients and taking care of a young child. I was taking care of the house. I was taking care of the yard. I was taking care of the cats, the rabbit, and the fish. I even worked on the lawn tractor (we lived out in the country on an acre of land). A daily routine of slaving away finally led to a very predictable outcome: burnout.
At first I didn’t realize what it was. I was getting enough sleep, but I was still exhausted all the time. I started to feel very very anxious, and my stomach was always upset. Then I started getting sick a lot. I remember performing a wedding ceremony for a client with bronchitis and struggling to get through the proceedings (on a cold windy beach in spring) without coughing. Of course I wound up getting sicker.
Eventually my body gave out. I woke up one morning and I simply couldn’t get out of bed. I was both physically ill and emotionally panicked. The timing was awful, since my husband had just lost his mother and he was grieving. Because I’d been pushing myself too hard, I couldn’t support him or take care of my child or see my clients. I was forced to come to a full stop. Thankfully my sister-in-law flew out from the East Coast to San Diego to help take care of my son. I went to see my therapist daily and journaled every day to let out all the feelings I’d been burying. I took a lot of baths also.
Going forward I had to put a self-care plan in place. To do that I needed a support team — my therapist, a shaman, and a nanny. The therapist listened to me, the shaman helped to boost my energy and remove blocks to my self care, and the nanny gave me the gift of 20 hours a week to focus on myself. Thankfully with their help I slowly recovered and was able to continue helping my clients and taking care of my son. It takes a village.
That was about 18 years ago, and I find that I’m still learning the lesson, but I’m getting better at it. For the last 2 years I’ve had the consistent support of a shamanic healer. Recently she moved away and I quickly found myself struggling until I got new support in place. I was shocked. I keep falling into the trap of thinking that I don’t need that support, that I’m so strong I don’t need it, that now must finally be the time that I don’t need any help.
But we all need a little support when we care for other people.
Recently I realized that I want to specialize in supporting therapists and coaches — because I’m one of you and I understand intimate the challenges you face — because you are brave, motivated, and delightful clients to work with.
Because I understand how hard it can be to take care of yourself when you get caught up in it all, I wanted to give you this gift today, of some things you can start doing right now to support and nurture yourself.
- Stop and take six deep breaths whenever you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed in your day. (Click here for a free article about this super simple form of meditation)
- Practice one activity that you love for at least a half hour each day. Creativity in particular is healing for the caregiver. You might like to try painting or knitting or playing music. Whatever gives you joy!
- Turn your bathroom into a spa.This is a room you visit several times a day! Make it a place for quick nurturing with wonderful hand lotion, soaps, essential oils, beautiful objects, and maybe a candle or two. Let yourself have a few minutes of “ahhhhhh” several times a day.
In the meantime if you’d like more spiritual support, I’m creating an online class based on the Six Gateways Shamanic principles that I’ve been working with for years. It’s filled with practices to help you nourish and rejuvenate yourself on a daily basis, as well as six powerful initiations to help you upgrade your energy and be a little stronger, braver, and more loving in the world. If you’d prefer one-on-one support, I offer that too. To get started, just click here for a free 20-minute consultation with me.
Love and Blessings,
Kypris 🙂