When I was growing up I heard the voice of God. Always, when I was little, I could hear Spirit whispering through the trees that I loved to play under, and tucking me in when I said my prayers at night.
My relationship with God was so real that I thought everyone had that same connection. All I had to do was say the Lord’s prayer with all my heart (the only prayer I knew when I was little) and He would answer. I would feel this warm, loving presence fill my body, and know that I was loved, that I was safe.
But when I became and adult, I lost that connection for a while. I spent too much time doing what everyone told me to do, and I lost my spiritual connection. I went down a path in life that was not at all what Spirit wanted for me, and eventually I had a complete breakdown. I suffered from extreme panic attacks to the point where I didn’t want to leave my house. And I felt physically ill all the time.
I feel grateful for that experience, because it forced me to find a solution. I began meditating, doing Yoga, and studying shamanism. And these things led me back to myself.
It took a long while to get back on the path, because I was essentially lost in a dark and treacherous forest. Everything terrified me, most especially my true path, which was to be a healer. I knew that I was meant to be a counselor and writer many years before I actually allowed myself to become that.
When I finally found the courage to do my life’s work, everything got easier again. And I realized that was partly because I had learned to use my relationship with God like an inner GPS.
It first came to me a couple of years ago, when I hit rock bottom again, only this time with my money situation. There I was, sitting in a 12-step program because I’d gotten myself into such an underearning situation in my life that I could barely afford to buy groceries, let alone pay my rent. I needed help. I’d lost my way again, and the GPS needed to recalculate.
I’d been in another 12-step program for codependency for many years, so I knew that I could find the help I needed in Debtor’s Anonymous. Through that group I started to find my way back to valuing myself and to remember who I really was.
Sitting there one day, I was struck by a sudden realization — that following Spirit’s will was like following a GPS. I put in a destination, and Spirit does its best to help me navigate there.
I can’t see the whole map at once, because that would just confuse me. Instead, Spirit shows me each action I must take. Sometimes an action takes forever, requiring alertness and endurance, like driving several hours on a freeway before I come to the exit. In those situations I can choose to hit “cruise control” and play music I love on the stereo. I can enjoy the ride. Or I can stay tense and worried the whole time, freaking out about every driver who cuts me off, feeling bored and angry that it’s taking so long.
Other times an action is a quick right turn, and then a left. If I don’t pay attention, I could miss it!
After that spiritual insight, the inner GPS took me on a long ride that took years. Now that I’m finally off that freeway, I have to pay more attention to where to turn. I’m a little tired because I’m not used to taking so many actions. Suddenly I have the high quality problem of feeling stressed because everything is going so well.
And I’m stressed why? Because I’m not used to it.
What does my new life look like? Well, my business is thriving. Not only am I doing work that I absolutely love every single day, but I LOVE the people I’m working WITH and seeing how much the work helps them. Everywhere I go, I meet people who are looking for exactly what I have to offer. I’m led to just the right people at just the right time, and I am honored to be an agent of joy and love in other people’s lives.
As part of this miracle, because I am happy and expanded and joyful, money is flowing in. Not a fortune, but enough to live on and save a little. Whenever one stream of income slows a little, another flows in. I’m being taken care of financially by Spirit in a way that I’ve never experienced. I’m no longer stuck in deprivation consciousness. I have almost no debt, money in savings, and a new car. I’m saving for and planning a trip to France next year and contemplating buying a home.
Not only has my relationship with money improved since I’ve allowed God and Goddess to run my life, but I’ve come back into a deeply intimate and committed relationship with the love of my life. After meeting and dating 35 years ago, and then off and on through the last 10 years, we’ve made a commitment to each other that’s lasted for a year now. How can I even begin to describe the miracle of that? It would be a whole separate article. In fact, I think it will be a book.
And in my inner life? The creativity is flowing non-stop. Writing is effortless because I’m mostly just taking dictation from Spirit.
But what’s more amazing is how I FEEL every day. My moon is in Scorpio, which means I feel things very deeply, so my emotional life is very important to me.
Recently I bought a car, and through the whole experience, I stayed in touch with my inner GPS and my feelings. This led to the most amazing experience I ever had buying a car. On the test drive I had a deep spiritual conversation with the car salesman, who turned out to be a former minister from my home town!
I have no doubt that the Goddess guided me to work with that particular person. I needed a car, he needed the energy I had to offer. And the car that I bought has already become imbued with a joyful energy that calls herself “Twinkle”. Every step of the way, Spirit guided me. It told me how much to spend on the car each month for my payment. It led me to the car that felt absolutely right for me (and also showed me what didn’t feel right at all).
One thing I’ve learned over the past couple of years of really letting Spirit in to run my life, is that its plan for me is always MUCH better than my plan.
The last thing I’ve learned is that listening to your inner guidance in the face of outer advice is critical. Everyone wants to give me advice when I am making choices in my life! I know this comes from a genuine place of love. But in the end I am the only one that can hear the voice of Spirit and know what is right for me.
And this is the bargain that I’ve made with Spirit. When I ask for something, the God and Goddess do their best to lead me to it. But in return, when Spirit asks ME to do something, I MUST answer.
Would you like my help accessing your own inner GPS through shamanic healing? Start by requesting a free phone consultation.