Since I was a little girl, I’ve been a creative soul, focused on art the way that other kids focused on play.
Maybe it was the Montessori school and all those macaroni pictures we made with dried noodles and glue. Or maybe it was because I watched my very young parents make music every day the way that other parents went to a j-o-b. Because at our house, that was their job.
I was lucky to have art modeled for me. My parents bought me art supplies and music lessons and books instead of toys. While the other kids were playing softball and watching TV, I was in my room doing embroidery, writing poetry, playing the violin and piano, learning to make art with pastels, and dancing. My favorite doll when I was 10 was a ballerina doll that twirled around when you pushed the tiara on her head.
But as I grew older, things got confusing. My parents told me I needed to get serious and learn how to make money.
I remember feeling very confused, because I always thought I’d be a musician or a music teacher. But I did what they said because they were paying for my college. I decided to become a biologist because I loved nature, and I had the brain for it. I did well at school, but I didn’t love it the way that I loved music and art. Because it took so much of my time to succeed in this new area, I neglected my art, and over time I became creatively blocked.
I gave up the violin entirely, deciding that I would never be any good at it and that I hated it. I still played the piano, but only in secret, when nobody else was in the house to hear. I wrote a few articles for magazines, but I never was able to do more than that. I wanted to write a novel, but all my ideas seemed boring and trivial,and the task of writing an entire novel and then finding a publisher (this was in the days before self publishing) was way too daunting. Over time I stopped writing. I became “too tired” and “too busy” to write. I became a shadow artist (see The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron) — I was the world’s number one critic on music and literature. And I produced nothing of value myself.
Then a miracle happened. I got divorced, and a post-divorce fever freedom came over me. My life force started to rush through my body again. I left laboratory science and took a job as an scientific editor. At least I was one step closer to writing! Then I decided to learn to bellydance.
Dancing saved me. It was a creative pursuit that was free of all the heavy history of my childhood, where I was always striving for perfection and never quite there. Even better, it was free of the grief and loss I had over giving up music. In bellydance I could be “good enough” and people would love me for it.
Through the dance, I finally connected to my kundalini. There’s a column of energy that runs through the human energy body, from root to crown, and depending on what we choose, that energy can run smoothly, or it can block up.
When my kundalini runs smoothly, creativity unblocks. My physical health and vitality go off the charts,. And sex? Yum-my. When this opens up for me I am empowered and free to do my art, and to express my voice in the world.
In my perfect day now, I practice four major channels of creativity: Dance, Music, Writing, and Knitting. When I have a day where I touch all four of these bases, I feel balanced, joyful, passionate, and free. The more I feel these amazing sensations, the easier it is to keep the channel open so more creations can flow through it.
Where do I find the time? Well a couple of ways. I cut out a lot of TV. I started saying no to anything I don’t want to do. I cut back on my volunteer hours. My mindset has changed so that now whenever someone asks me to take on something I think first about how it will impact my creative time.
I’ve found that I love to teach others how to unblock their own inner artist. Think about this: how would you be different if you practiced the art that you love every day? And how would your courageous acts of creation change the world? How would the world be different if every single person practiced some form of art each and every day?
Are you feeling blocked in your creative life? What would you create if you had unlimited time, money or energy?
I would love to help you explore this though a class or private shamanic support.