The last week or so I’ve been buzzing with anxiety. It’s filled every waking moment, kept me from sleeping, and almost made me forget who I am and why I am here. There’ve been some big changes in my life — a new car when I’ve never had a new car before. A new place to live that’s so perfect that there’s no doubt God had a hand in it.
To most people these probably seem like wonderful changes, but to me they’re terrifying. Why? Because I don’t like change. Even though I know it’s good for me, even though it always turns out better in the end, I don’t like it. I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen.
But the truth is? I never really know what’s going to happen anyway. Unexpected change comes into even the quietest of lives, bringing with it joy, anguish, and a million other emotions.
My emotions are so strong when they come, that they threaten to sweep me away. And I don’t like that. I don’t like feeling out of control. And the less I’m in control, the more anxious I become.
But I forgot something important. I forgot that I’m never in charge.
I often say that spiritually I’m like a little dog (which is hilarious because I’m really a cat and rabbit person when it comes to pets). In this case, I’m like a dog who thinks he’s in charge of the household, even though my owner (God) is bigger and smarter than me.
In this case, Goddess is trying to give me a bigger and better life, and I’ve been fighting. Just like a dog who fights moving to a new home because he doesn’t like to leave the old one. Or who doesn’t want a NEW toy because he just loves that old familiar stinky sock to play with, even though it’s frayed and grey and coated in doggy slobber.
It took my long-time mentor to finally bring me down to earth after 3 sleepless nights. She said: “It sounds like you think you’re God and that you think you know exactly what’s going to happen”. She reminded me that the unknown can be really amazing, but I have trouble seeing that because I have a limited viewpoint. I only know what I know from my own perception. And when I’m filled with anxiety that feels like a nest of snakes biting each other in my belly, I might be looking at things from the wrong perception.
And then I remembered: true enlightenment is staying in touch with my higher power in every minute of every day.
It’s so simple, but when I’m afraid like that it’s hard for me to open that channel. Fortunately I received several initiations years ago that anchored how to do this.
When I came to those initiations, I was filled with anxiety and unable to banish it. Now, 22 years later, once I realize that I’m anxious and why, I can go back to the Six Gateways practices to let go of it.
Here are some simple things you can try doing on your own to relieve the anxiety:
1. Come into connection with the sacred through your physical body and ask for help. What helps the most is to get out into nature and pray. Yesterday I walked by the lake, sat on a rock, and watched the sun set. I could literally feel the anxiety draining out of my body
2. Practice the World’s Easiest Meditation — close your eyes and take six deep breaths. I do this every time I start to feel anxious.
3. Make a cup of tea and use it to soothe yourself and rinse away the negative emotions from your body.
After my shift, I slept well and was powerfully guided to the next right actions. One of those is to offer you a brand new Six Gateways Shamanic Initiation class that’s I’ve never offered before. I’m going to take a group of 6-8 people through a 3 month journey. We’ll visit different sacred sites in San Diego and receive shamanic downloads that help clear away the junk that gets in the way of being our best, brightest, and most powerful selves. Class begins on August 1, and will meet twice a month on Saturdays, at different outdoor locations in San Diego County. To join us, contact me at kypris@sixgateways.com or 760-522-2554. Check out my events page for details.
Would you prefer one-on-one shamanic work? Start by requesting a free phone consultation.